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Carmageddon 64 Missions - For your viewing (dis)pleasure

Helomyname's picture
Cunning Stunt Licker
Posts: 250
Carmageddon 64 Missions - For your viewing (dis)pleasure
#1 Submitted: Tue, 17/01/2017 - 01:34

Many of you may not have had a chance to experience this Carmageddon Gem, with its compelling story and gameplay. Worry not - I pained through the game, and documented the missions for those interested. No regular races here, as those are all the same. We're here for the juicy story that Titus or whoever came up with. So get cosy. Get ready.

#1 - Beaver Patrol

"Time is of the essence! Complete the race or fail!"

"I can't believe those suckers think that they can beat me. Imagine trying to challenge me to a time trial race. The other drivers just don't have that killer instinct.
I AM the fastest.
I AM the hardest.
I'm the last one to drive. I just gotta beat that time limit or I'm never gonna get off this zombie infested planet. Obviously, the huge wager everybody has placed on me doesn't put me under any pressure, nah I can handle pressure, I am one cool mother!"

#2 - Eye Of The Beaver

"Zombies have gained control of the satellite system. Jump from roof to roof and take out those dishes before it's too late!"

"SCUM BAGS! The zombies have managed to turn on a series of satellites throughout the city. It is creating havoc with the climate control systems of the domes. It has reached critical mass and if somebody doesn't take those satellites out of commission then the whole system is going to collapse. Guess what? The World Government has asked me to do it! Not surprising considering I am the best bad ass driver there is or ever has been! Saving this hell hole will really give me a big cash boost. Ha! Ha!"

#3 - Truck Me!

"Don Dumpster is gunning for you! The only way out of this is by totally destroying him!"

"Oh Truck me! I can hardly believe my eyes. I never realised they made trucks so big! That big lump o' lard that calls himself Don Dumpster has challenged me to a one on one battle and he thinks he has got me licked! What he's forgotten is the old saying of Brain over Brown. I am gonna have to think hard and use some real tricky tactics to take this mother out."

#4 - Outbreak

"A genetic experiment has gone horribly wrong. Wipe out all the infected zombies before they spread their disease."

"Ah, by the gods, this planet is having one environmental disaster after another. Not only do we have flesh eating zombies wandering around we now have sombies infected with a hideous military virus. Well to cut a short story even shorter, the World Government has asked little ol' me to sort out their colossal hiccup, but as always they have left everything to the last minute. If I don't kill off the infected zombies in time, then the Virus will spread and it's GAME OVER for humanity."

#5 - Fair Grind

"The zombies have planted mines to prevent you escaping, destroy all of them to secure your freedom."

"Unbelievable! Some zombies who live in the old FunFair have somehow managed to capture me. They have built up some sort of religious cult and the only way they are going to release me is if I can convince them I am their God. I must wipe out all the mines they have set without destroying myself to secure my escape before they realise I am only a mortal human being and then tear me limb from limb."

#6 - Air we Go

"The zombies have taken over the Control Tower. You must get your vehicle up to the control tower and splat em!"

"These zombies are everywhere! The sooner we rid the planet of these mutant zombies the better. They have taken over the old Airport and are trying to crash-land a jumbo jet into the local Climate Dome. I must stop them before they can get the planes into the air. I really don't care about the peds in the dome, it's just that the World Government is offering a wad of cash to the first person to wipe those zombies across the control tower."

#7 - Revenge of the Exploding Dead!

"The Undead worm has turned! Avoid the zombies at all costs, their BOOM! Is worse than their bite!"

"The Undead are unhappy! And have decided to put a stop to their kin becoming Curb Kebabs! An elite force of sun loving coffin dodgers charged with explosives, have flooded the coast. These zombies have only one thing on their worm addled minds, the destruction of the fun known as 'CARMAGEDDON!' You must complete the race avoiding the unstable undead, otherwise you will be blown to smithereens!"

#8 - From Rust Til' Dawn

"By god some mad fool is trying to pump all the oil from the world. You must stop him by destroying the 7 Nodding donkeys."

"It looks like someone is trying to steal all of our oil. They have set up a whole series of nodding donkeys across the desert pumping oil into a secret reservoir somewhere. Well if I can't have this oil then no one else is gonna get it either! I am gonna make sure all of those pumps are taken out and the cheating scummer can't use them again. I feel that my motivation is somewhat helped by the fact that the other drivers have all bundled together a great wad of cash to go to the first one to destroy all the nodding donkeys in the time limit."

#9 - On The Piste

"Take your vehicle for a spin on the slalom course try and make it down the course in one piece!

"Wahhooooo I love the snow. In an effort to relieve some of the tension of Carmageddon, the World Government has organized a slalom race in our great chariots that mere mortals call cars. All the other drivers have had their go and now it is my turn to show those other scummers just who is the greatest driver ever!"

#10 - Carmageddon!

"This is it! Three of your enemies are gonna try and mash you up! It's you or them! Drive to survive!"

"This is it!!! The Grand Finale!!! This is A CRASH COURSE IN SURVIVAL!!!!"


Unfortunately despite the Hawk being one of the starter cars, only the Eagle appears in the final cutscene :c
Who knew that there would be a Carmageddon game where we become the god of a zombie cult, prevent 9/11, go skiing(???), and get off the motherfucking Earth? What an experience it has been playing this - an experience I don't really wish to repeat - but an experience nonetheless.

Espyo's picture
Velociraptor Fister
Community VIPKickstarter BackerModerator
Posts: 1473
Submitted: Sat, 21/01/2017 - 13:25


Huh, I almost forgot this game had missions. Wonderful execution, HMN! You almost made this game look enjoyable! Not gonna lie, that slalom mission actually looks really fun. And what's up with the reverse strats? Did the devs forget to make your vehicle subject to mass when going backwards?

I'm Espyo from the Carmageddon Wiki!
I'm currently working on a Pikmin fan engine.

Helomyname's picture
Cunning Stunt Licker
Posts: 250
Submitted: Sat, 21/01/2017 - 14:31

Thanks Espyo!

Your vehicle seems to do an extraordinary amount of damage, while taking very little while reversing. I don't really know whats up with that, but its by far the best way of taking care of the big guys :)

KakkaHousu's picture
PayPal Backer
Posts: 566
Submitted: Sat, 21/01/2017 - 16:42

Map from first Carma was surprising addition. I guess it doesn't appear as regular event though?

Helomyname's picture
Cunning Stunt Licker
Posts: 250
Submitted: Sat, 21/01/2017 - 16:46

It does appear as a regular event! I'm guessing it's a replacement for the local nuclear silo, which doesnt appear in Carma 64.

You can also drive the Caddy Fat Cat :)