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My review for all the fanboys of reincarnation that just said "Learn to drive"

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ActionPoohole's picture
Fluffy Bunny
Posts: 24
My review for all the fanboys of reincarnation that just said "Learn to drive"
#1 Submitted: Fri, 28/10/2016 - 08:14

Atrocious Handling? Fixed!
Sense of Speed? Fixed!
Awful Graphics? Fixed!
Terrible Frame Rate? Fixed!
Random and confusing damage Physics? Fixed!
Anti-Fun AI? Fixed!

This is a remake of a remake that sticks it to the fanboys which (not who, who is for people) were telling people to learn to drive in their arrogant butt sniffing manner. There were huge problems with the original "Carmageddon: Reincarnation" that could put a frown on even the most avid Carma fans. Issues such as cars feeling like they were going 50KM/H but were going double or triple that. Random causes of loss of control and graphics that were sub-par and caused even the best gaming computers to chug and splutter.

The graphics aren't super great in this new release of Max Damage but they do the job! The races don't feel hard even on the rimjob-a-bull mode. BUT the game feels a lot more enjoyable and that frown I had stuck on my stupid head has been wiped away.

The AI seems to be a lot more interested in taking to the fray! I don't see them avoiding contact at all costs like in reincarnation. It seems to be a lot easier now which is neither here nor there but the actuality of crashes happening is increasing exponentially! I'm enjoying the better damage physics a lot more now with wheel spikes able to give you flats or rip your tyres and even wheels off completely. I feel pieces of my car getting snagged and torn off. There's a few random things like cars being ripped in half length ways rather than squashing which seem a bit odd at times but in general the damage is just more satisfying and easier to achieve.

Most notably; the handling is not a big bucket of dung anymore... And it just goes to show that all the rude fanboys can stick it. I played the original Carmageddon games too and the handling wasn't great but at least the cars didn't randomly slide off the side of the map because of some weird calculation error. Now they remain firmly in place and don't slop and flop around as though on lubricated sheets of ice.

Hell, I lost my ♥♥♥♥ when I went on the forums and the fanboys all grabbed me and took turns to jack rabbit my corn holes with strapons. I spat back like an angry little ♥♥♥♥♥ and told them and the developer Nobby to go eat on a fat one, I took the reincarnation edition as an insult. My past time of Carmageddon was trashed by that atrocity. I took back what I said about Nobby because I was just ♥♥♥♥♥♥ off that a bunch of rampant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lickers were defending the game like the kings men... Well that defense was in vain as this game fixed all the problems that were apparently not problems.

We have to remember that it's in good character to admit when you're right and when you're wrong. I was wrong for losing my ♥♥♥♥ and insulting Nobby in my forum post. I really did feel insulted by reincarnation. But at least I wasn't the one fanboying a broken piece of garbage which has been proven it was stuffed by this new iteration of the series.

I welcome Carmageddon: Max Damage to my Steam game library and the fanboys can suck it because now the handling is fantastic and you now have no travesty to jerk rapidly off to.

This was free to those that owned reincarnation so that was a really nice thing to do for all us players that felt so let down by it. Obviously they knew the game was NOT the reincarnation they really wanted to deliver and they made up for it with Max Damage... So eat it fanboys as us normal people (or rather NOT knob cakey dunce people) didn't stand by and defend a turd that even the developers have shown was not acceptable with this beautifully kind gesture!

This is now an enjoyable and relaxing title to play like it always should have been! Well done to the devs and I look forward to playing more.

So that's my review and lick my hairy sweaty balls to anyone that was nasty to me. lol

Fr0nt's picture
Cunning Stunt Licker
Twitch ChampKickstarter Backer
Posts: 493
Submitted: Fri, 28/10/2016 - 08:45

Funny, handling still feels very much the same to me, with the exception of vlad.

but im glad you're enjoying the game :)

Edited by: Fr0nt on Fri, 28/10/2016 - 08:46
lemonrev's picture
Velociraptor Fister
Kickstarter Backer
Posts: 1627
Submitted: Fri, 28/10/2016 - 09:01

ActionPoolHOLE < maybe you should stick to your nick when you speak.

You sound like a total ass wipe thats just had his final fill.

You sad sorry little Fan boy that had to hate to much and got bit for it.

How sad you had to make some more comments as it seems people are just going to crap on you some more.

Enjoy a game that might not have ever been had the game not been supported by people who love the game for what it is. And not what They think it should be.

Tonrac's picture
Piledriver
Kickstarter Backer
Posts: 550
Submitted: Fri, 28/10/2016 - 10:15

maybe you learn how to drive ... that could explain why you think the handling is better ;D

MemoryKill's picture
Cunning Stunt Licker
Kickstarter Backer
Posts: 116
Submitted: Fri, 28/10/2016 - 12:27

Well...IMO and IMO rarely it would seem, I am not liking it.

Physics is still aweful. I waste cars just from driving behind them when they brake...i immediately waste them, that's not what carmageddon is or was, it took EFFORT, not just a tiny ram which seems to damage the cars so much it's like you've thrown a tank at them...

On hard mode as well ofc it's super super easy, i'm blitzing through it. As for graphics, "fixed?" The city and most environments (despite some of the more open ones) still looks mediocre, there is more pop in, the models and textures are still low quality, there is NO sense of speed at all do you know what "sense" of speed means? Compare this to racing game and tell me this has better sense of speed...as for the sound effects, they are now much quieter? They still sound poor, ambiant environments is just a wind noise that loops in low quality, no ambiant effects, no rattles or clicks or taps or rustles of leafs, or water sounds or clinks etc, the cars are still made of glass, do damage and recieve damage way too easily.

Oh yeah but, it performs perfectly fine...but look at the cost.

I am actually amazed at the positive steam reviews, this is not the game i've been wanting for 3+ years, nor what I KS.

Ugh...don't get me wrong, the modders made C:R much more barable with there fantastic work on cars...but it needs a huge overall in sound, graphics, and career mode for me. I hate the C1 style "stealing" of cars, i want money back to buy! I hate the floaty feeling cars with no weight, even big vehicles don't FEEL heavy (i think this is also because of the sound design).

I hoped and hoped and hoped it would get better and better, but this engine is just making the game look dated, the graphics are not 2016 standard, at all.

Some of the rare negative reviews you can find actually, IMO, speak the truth. This is not carmageddon for me either.

Final nail in the coffin, no modded cars in career mode? Why? Because or leaderboards? Erm...just disable them maybe and all online functionality/achievements? It's really not hard...I want to use all the fun modded vehicles in career as at least then i may have a bit more fun...modders, see if you can work on this.

I'll continue to lurk, but if nothing drastic happens in the future, i think it's time to sideline and say goodbye despite how much that hurts.

EDIT

I was just wasted at 50mph (slow) ish by countslash just now. It made my car look like it had been hit by a train at 100mph. Plus it's still not game over when you get wasted...argh, this is NOT carmageddon what is this, that's not fun at all that's boring and completely un-fun.

EDIT2

That mario kart style stun sound effect/visual is also really REALLY stupid, annoying and ruins the vibe of the game further by making it a "Joke". I hope devs remove that too.

Edited by: MemoryKill on Fri, 28/10/2016 - 12:48
starbuck's picture
Velociraptor Fister
PayPal Backer
Posts: 1409
Submitted: Fri, 28/10/2016 - 16:54

Framerate also determines the drivability of the vehicle, perhaps the framerates are better and not as sluggish ?

And modders have no control over getting their cars to work in career mode, the developers do.

Edited by: starbuck on Fri, 28/10/2016 - 16:57

Why is it that when you are a child at the dinner table you can get punished asking for someone to please pass you the fork and knife ?

Dave3d's picture
Cunning Stunt Licker
Kickstarter Backer
Posts: 259
Submitted: Fri, 28/10/2016 - 22:56

I posted a reply in another thread about the handling also.
It seems miles better (even though Reincarnation did fix the handling better in a patch, this MD seems even better handling).
I am also enjoying the game much much more because of the handling and the ability to crash OTHER cars now, and not my own by just driving 2mph into a wall head on.
I also expressed that I am getting very steady frame rates now also (even though the graphics are worse, which I dont care about. The thing for me is playability and fun).
So, yes, I agree with the OP.
I am having much more fun, and just might actually finish MD.
:D

Edited by: Dave3d on Fri, 28/10/2016 - 22:58
ActionPoohole's picture
Fluffy Bunny
Posts: 24
Submitted: Fri, 28/10/2016 - 23:52

Fr0nt wrote:
Funny, handling still feels very much the same to me, with the exception of vlad.

but im glad you're enjoying the game :)

Thanks, But it's definitely a lot better. My friend played it and she's not much of a gamer and she noticed the difference straight away.. She couldn't even keep on the road with reincarnation but but on this she can actually play and I noticed she didn't have a frown on her face when doing so.

lemonrev wrote:
ActionPoolHOLE < maybe you should stick to your nick when you speak.

You sound like a total ass wipe thats just had his final fill.

You sad sorry little Fan boy that had to hate to much and got bit for it.

How sad you had to make some more comments as it seems people are just going to crap on you some more.

Enjoy a game that might not have ever been had the game not been supported by people who love the game for what it is. And not what They think it should be.

Ok lol, my review obviously hits close to home. Success. U r fanboy.

tonrac wrote:
maybe you learn how to drive ... that could explain why you think the handling is better ;D

LOL ok! =) I could learn to steer titanic around icebergs but that doesn't make it fun! =)

And "MemoryKill" I understand what you're saying. I know what sense of speed means... It's a lot better than it was... I'm not saying it's perfect but it feels better and more relaxing and playable now.

Yes the damage is too easy but it's a far sight better than reincarnation. It's much more fun now. I think the balance of damage done is a bit out of wack but it is at least enjoyable now when compared to reincarnation. I was frustrated with how reincarnation was. I just wanted to relax and smash some cars up... I didn't want to slide around the map endlessly and learn to perfect guiding landboats around... It's just a smash em up racing game for some down time and I prefer it over reincarnation a lot. It's not a perfect game at all but it's a hell of a lot better!

Thanks for the posts, even the nasty ones. It just shows who the fanboys are! At least you stuck by your turd. Good on you for that! :)))

me-onfire's picture
Cunning Stunt Licker
PayPal Backer
Posts: 319
Submitted: Sat, 29/10/2016 - 02:02

for me the handling is still a huge fuckup ... waaaay to slippery and not fun to drive

while a little to ponderous handling is best when gravtity from jupiter or solid granite car is available
i really wish the standard handling would be in the middle of how it is now and granite car or something

MemoryKill wrote:
stuff

yeah i feel ill abandon carmageddon too ... i played reincarnation for 60 hours and really wish it would be more but it was a real pain overall

started max damage and was shocked that its still the same ... i even could bear with the physics if the handling would feel right

i like the "doing" sound when you stun the other drivers though :D
but i hate the dancing ped music and this hallelujah thingy ... i really wish there would be an option to mute those tracks because they interrupt the music that is playing

Edited by: me-onfire on Sat, 29/10/2016 - 02:28
Gunsmith's picture
Norman E. Carnage
Posts: 54
Submitted: Sun, 30/10/2016 - 16:18

nothing wrong with the handling, imo its less technical in MD then it was in CR. feels a little less sharp and more muddy

LuckyMike's picture
Cunning Stunt Licker
Posts: 237
Submitted: Sun, 30/10/2016 - 16:43

Car has stabilisation now, its a very sad.

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