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Seasons Beatings!

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YautjaLord's picture
Piledriver
Kickstarter Backer
Posts: 629
Submitted: Tue, 11/12/2012 - 15:51

Jingle bell Jingle bell guts & gore all the way
What a ride this fuckin' Squad Car, what else can i say?
Plowing through the peds & cars, any given day
Holy shit is that Suppressor? Gotta nail it! Yay!

First time it rammed me, but i'm quick to react
Got the APO @ Cheat level, now that's some heavy fact
Head-on scored me lots & i mean LOTS of cash
Five more ramms like that & the fucker gets smashed!!!!

Jingle bell jingle bell what else can i say?
That Suppressor is some heavy motherfucker yay,
Peds, cars, cops & other stuff won't live past this day
WTFZOMGBBQ Jingle that stuff, hail!!!!!

*And now heavy guitar riff like that of Dimebag Darrel*

All! Hail! Heavy Metal & Carmageddon! Hail! \m/ \m/ \m/ Or something. lol

*ends in guitar solo like that of Darrel, as well.*

B.A.'s picture
Cunning Stunt Licker
Posts: 274
Submitted: Tue, 11/12/2012 - 18:58

Mariah Carey - All I want for christmas... edited :)

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the pedestrians
Underneath my car to be
I don't need to crash my stock car
There upon the wastedplace
Santa Carma won't make me happy
With a kill on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is Moo!
(cowbells ringing)

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I don't even wish for pee
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath my chassis to be
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Mad Max
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic cows click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Hitting on to me so hard
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is Moo!
(them cowbells again)

Torque: Dragging opponents into your problems since Carmageddon 1

Espyo's picture
Velociraptor Fister
Community VIPKickstarter BackerModerator
Posts: 1472
Submitted: Tue, 11/12/2012 - 20:45

I wanted mine to be smart!

On the 12th day of Carmas Stainless gave to me:
12 letters for APO
F11 to win dosh
10 wasted statuses
9 stealworthy cars
8x speed from Hot Rod
700MB for GOG
6 cops in Slaughter City
5:00 for Outbreeeeak!
4 laps on Chiller
3 different dares
Year 2K for a bad game Err... Q2 for a great game
And 1 rank for Beef Curtaiiiiins!

I'm Espyo from the Carmageddon Wiki!
I'm currently working on a fangame engine for Pikmin games.

spacebug's picture
Fluffy Bunny
Kickstarter Backer
Posts: 28
Submitted: Wed, 12/12/2012 - 08:04

jwb1971 wrote:
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Giblets

Nice one!

guido's picture
Fluffy Bunny
Kickstarter Backer
Posts: 18
Submitted: Wed, 12/12/2012 - 12:55

carma bells
carma bells
carma all the way
splat

Ohnhai's picture
Artist
StainlessKickstarter Backer
Posts: 92
Submitted: Wed, 12/12/2012 - 14:16

I was in the War!
to 'When a child is Born' by Johnny Mathis (with all apropriate apologies)
-----------------------------------
You see a Dear, and old and shrivelled frail
You drop the clutch and leave a burning trail
Bouncing of the hood, raising up your score
You hear her cry "I was in the war!"

A life well lived, doing what she can
With Zimmer frame and Basket well in hand
Her carefree youth left to days-of-yore
You have no doubt that she was in the war

The carnage rains all around her now
Peds run in vain, there goes another cow!
A seething mess of steaming guts and gore
She's used to this, 'cause she was in the war

[spoken cheesy bollox}

With keys in hand the Morris springs to life
Panelled. Red. And armoured to cause strife
She's revving hard, and of this certain sure
"I'll get revenge. I was in the war!"
-------------------------------------
and if you are brave enough there is a sung version here

Ohnhai's picture
Artist
StainlessKickstarter Backer
Posts: 92
Submitted: Wed, 12/12/2012 - 19:31

BTW... im not in the comp...... Just wanted to join in the fun :D

Ohnhai's picture
Artist
StainlessKickstarter Backer
Posts: 92
Submitted: Wed, 12/12/2012 - 19:56

BTW... im not in the comp...... Just wanted to join in the fun :D

lemonrev's picture
Velociraptor Fister
Kickstarter Backer
Posts: 1628
Submitted: Wed, 12/12/2012 - 19:59

double post ohnhai listing to your song now, good music too :P

stygimoloch's picture
Velociraptor Fister
Kickstarter BackerCompetition Winner
Posts: 1068
Submitted: Wed, 12/12/2012 - 22:15

A duet between Max and Anna, with their take on one of my all-time favourite songs.
(Since I've already won one of these things I don't mind bowing out of the competition, I too just wanted to join in the fun!)

Fairytale of Bleak City
Got fifty litres, babe
In my fuel tank
An old man said to me
"I was in the war"
And then he turned and ran
Away from my headlights
I opened my throttle up
And screamed the Eagle at him

Drove through a Beef Curtain
'Cause I'm ranked number one
My tyres are squealing
Through yards of bones and goo
So happy Carma
My windscreen's shattered
I can't see a thing ahead
But all the screams guide me

They've got cars leaving scars, they've got rivers of blood
You'll go right through the window, leave dents in the hood
When you first took my hand on that cold Christmas Eve
You saved me from sadists tearing down Maim Street

You were crazy
You were gritty, Queen of ol' Bleak City
The on-foot plod scattered and yelled "Police! Stop!"
Val Hella was killing at speeds which were thrilling
We carved up the Kutter
And danced on his corpse

And the boys of the BCPD squads rolling in APCs
And alarms went ringing out for casualties

You're a scrub, you're a punk
Your damn Hawk is old junk
Limping along almost mashed 'cause you've run out of cash
Your three-wheeled two seater,
You cheap lousy cheater,
Red Eagle my clit, it's a big pile of shit

And the boys of the BCPD squads rolling in APCs
And alarms went ringing out for casualties

I could have won that race
Well I was in first place
You took my victory
When you killed all those peds
I was inches from the win
I'd done five hundred in
Down to three on the map
And Stella got there first

And the boys of the BCPD squads rolling in APCs
And alarms went ringing out for casualties

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