Three Little Piggies
by nobby on 28/06/2013
“Carma, Carma, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?” Well, first I’m going to handbrake turn to face them, then I’ll floor it and ram this massive spike right through their… Yes, it’s time to meet the New Cops, head on!
But before we get into the meat of this blog, a quick general update on vehicle progress here in the Carma HQ as we hit our 16th Birthday weekend… As you all know, each of the Carmageddon vehicles starts life as a concept drawing. Some have been done in-house by our talented art team; most are coming in from our contract concept man, Doug Telford. As each of these drawings arrive, they get bumped along the artists’ schedules and moved into production. As you’ll recall, last time round we took a look at the King Merc – well, that beast is being BUILT as I write this! We’re dying to get it in-game to get tracked vehicles working. So, I’ll be able to reveal the model of the Merc very soon. I can also report that the Eagle, Towmeister, Siamese Dream, Cleaver and Electric Blue are among cars that are near to completion – in that they are fully built and being textured, and even have their crushing parameters set up. There’s a LOT going on!
So, back to today’s main theme. When we were putting together the outline design for Carmageddon: Reincarnation, we didn’t really have any hesitation in deciding that the cops would make a return. We wanted the environment in which the game takes place to be a very close echo of the original game’s. That meant: No public traffic on the roads (we went for ambient traffic in Carma 2, but everyone agreed that all it did was get in the way), and that the levels would be policed by the same sort of intolerant bastard Cops in big bastard APCs who had made life unpleasant for the player at times in Carma 1, rather than the (somewhat wussy) regular cop cars of Carma 2.
The lack of traffic on the roads means that the player can concentrate fully on their opponents, and the pedestrian population. But as before, you’ll never know when you might go careening past a cop who’s parked out of sight up a side street. Sneaky WANKER. And of course what the cops are there to do is Uphold The Law and Stop You Having Fun... Which they accomplish by speeding after you and trying to take you out with extreme prejudice in their massively well-armoured Special Forces APC (Armoured Pig Carrier).
As was the case in the original game, you can actually sneak past the cops (if you know where they are) by staying out of their ‘cone of vision’, or by passing them at legal speeds, and not doing anything naughty. Although this is not a tactic we would ever recommend or condone, as it is for PUSSIES. A real Carmageddon player never slows down, never brakes (except for handbrake turns), and never shows any fear under any circumstances. Because we are all Sexual Tyrannosaurs who eat iron bars for breakfast and go-go girls for lunch.
Meanwhile… We were happy with the original design of the cop vehicles, and so our brief to Doug Telford (our car concept artist) was to do us some new renders for the Stainless vehicle artists to follow, that didn’t deviate greatly from the originals. He duly delivered, bang on the snout with the new APC render:
As before, you’re going to need to know the location of a handy Solid Granite PUp, or be pretty nifty on your rubber and get the Hell out of there (remember - it’s not running away, it’s just Driving Fast(er)), or be driving a major lump of iron, otherwise the repair costs will be sky-high after an encounter with one of these hefty porkmobiles.
Of course, you can’t have a cop APC in the game without having a cop BIG APC in the game. Yes, The Suppressor is back too! The brief was very simple, as with the APC: “Update the original; keep it pretty close to the first game’s Boss”. And Doug pretty much nailed it first time, although it started off a bit too tall. So I bunged it into Photoshop and did a horizontal cut and shut job on the visual, and sent it back to Doug. He modified his original, and we were there! Lowering the upper half of his first draft resulted in the really mean looking front lights emerging menacingly from a narrow aperture... And it looks like there’s no windows at all. So we decided that the cops just use CCTVs inside the vehicle to see what’s going on around them. Maximum Pig Protection!
Pretty Bloody Mean, eh? Get caught between this big baby and a hard place, and you’ll be picking suspension parts out of your teeth for days! And of course this vehicle will eventually be available to drive – all you’ll have to do is find a way to WASTE ‘EM!
So, that covers the original Cop vehicles… BUT, we didn’t want to stop there! We came up with one final Cop vehicle. Something that redresses the balance a little bit, and should give you a nice warm feeling when you see it pootling along, maintaining law and order by… reporting litter violations, rounding up stray kittens, and distributing leaflets on community relations. Yes, it’s the brand new Compact Unit: Nil Threat. The CU:NT will be a frequent sight on the roads of Bleak City and elsewhere in Carma world, and although it will react to your wrongdoings by attempting to intervene, its lack of size and mass will put it at a great disadvantage… With the result that you’ll invariably have a fun few minutes batting it around the landscape while getting some bonus points for pig baiting!
(I should point out that I will take a particular personal pleasure in getting stuck in to these little cop crapmobiles, having found myself the deeply ashamed recipient of something rather similar in the form of a loan car, when my daily driver broke down soon after I got it…)
That… thing had an utterly gutless engine, a truly hideous lurchy auto box, and a red and black interior that felt like sitting inside a giant pair of Ann Summers knickers. Aaaanyway, enough of my loan car horror stories. What you all want to see is the new CU:NT, in all its fluffy community policing glory. And here it is:
Awww… Look at da liddle widdle piggy wiggy cop car! AAAARGH! HULK SMASH!!!!
So, that about wraps it up for this instalment. We really hope you’re enjoying seeing these new interpretations of the original vehicles. It just remains for me to wish us all a Very Happy Carmageddon Birthday, with many more to come! Cheers for your continued support guys, and many thanks for checking out this article.
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